“It’s nothing until it’s something”. That has been one of my mantras over the last several years that I live by. It got me through my diagnosis of ITP, countless times dealing with my mom’s, my family members, and my friends health issues, and it once again got me through the last few weeks.
I wasn’t surprised when I got the results of my mammogram, they always find something because I’m cystic. Thank you caffeine. So when my doctor called to discuss needing a second mammogram with an ultrasound she asked me if I was OK, I responded that if there’s anything I’ve learned especially after the past few years is that I can’t let my thoughts get ahead of me so I’m sticking to my mantra “It’s nothing until it something”. She said that’s exactly what she wanted to hear.
So for the following two weeks every time my thoughts would try to take me down anxiety lane I would repeat my mantra. See that’s the thing friends. We are all human and as humans we have emotions. Mindfulness and self-care don’t take away our difficult emotions, they don’t disappear. Instead what mindfulness and self-care do is help you deal with the emotions in a safe, productive, and healthy way.
On the day of my second mammogram and ultrasound I allowed my emotions to come through and I dug into my toolbox for my tools: mantras, breathing, leaned into my safe space family & friends, asked for signs, and prayed for miracles. I am not going to lie the two hours of mammograms and ultrasounds and consulting with doctors and radiologist was nerve wracking but my tools got me through without feeling like doom was upon me.
In the end after 47 films it was determined I am indeed very cystic but just to be sure I’ll return for another ultrasound in six months. Until then I will return to my mantra “It’s nothing until it’s something”.
I share this with you in hopes that if you are dealing with an unknown situation that is leading you down to anxiety lane please find comfort in knowing you are not alone and there are safe, productive, and healthy ways to get you through to a healthy and happy you.
P.S. I have to point out that the fact my robe matched my kicks made me smile 😊 💕✨ #findthepositive