One of the most common things I hear from women is that they don't have time for themselves. I bet you just nodded your head in agreement...didn't you!?!?! Well girl let me just tell you a shocking revelation I realized in the year of 2018. Ready? When you don't have time for yourself guess whose fault it is? Are you ready? It's YOU!
That hurt a little didn't it? Let me explain. I think you'll agree that for most women we were innately born to please, help, and nurture people. Which all are wonderful attributes. However, who is the last person we please, help, and nurture? If you guessed ourselves then you would be correct. The minute people ask us to do something we usually drop whatever we are doing and carve out time from our busy schedules to accommodate them. If you think my next sentence is going to be stop doing those things for people then you thought wrong.
You see being there for someone else is a wonderful selfless act to do and you SHOULD be doing that. HOWEVER, if you are making others a priority and not making YOURSELF one well chick you have no-one to blame for your resenting unhappy self but yourself. I know this is a hard pill to swallow and I'm going to get some backlash on that statement. Let me explain what I have learned in this.
So what have I learned? Self-Care should be NUMERO UNO (that's number 1) on your daily list of things to do EVERY DAY! What is Self-Care? First of all Self-Care is not selfish. I repeat, SELF-CARE IS NOT SELFISH. It is completely one hundred percent necessary for you to be emotionally and mentally happy. Self-Care is making yourself a priority during a period of the day, not the whole day...now that is being selfish...unless it's a special occasion Self-Care day...but for a period of the day where you are YOUR priority doing something that either lights you up inside or creates a calm and peaceful state of mind that brings you joy.
I recommend an hour a day of Self-Care, but I understand that for some people an hour may not be feasible. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I can hear you now...."An hour? I don't even have a minute to pee in piece let alone give myself an hour". With that being said I hear you but I totally disagree with you. I have no doubt in my mind you can carve out at least 30 minutes out of your day (or an hour) for Self-Care.
The trick is you need to WANT to Self-Care but because we lack the idea that we are not a priority in our own lives we push away that need and that want. We put our needs and wants to the back of the line of everyone else because we feel the need to please, help, and nurture everyone else. So what happens when we get to the back of the needs and wants priority line? We become angry. We start get snippy with our families and our friends. We become resentful. And most of time we hold it all in until we can't take it anymore and we EXPLODE! Then everyone is asking you if you are PMSing...or at least they are assuming, HA!
You can avoid all of that drama, the resentment, and the explosions simply by Self-Caring EVERY SINGLE DAY! Yes I said every single day. Here are two of the simplest ways to carve out 30 minutes out of your day for Self-Care: set your alarm 30 minutes earlier or go to bed 30 minutes later. TADA...problem solved! In all seriousness it is that easy way to carve out the time. Ahhhhh.... with those 30 minutes you can wake up and workout or soak in a bubble bath before bed.
Don't give me the excuse you don't have the time because you know damn well if your bestie called you and asked you to drop everything you would. Or if your kids needed you to do something then you would again drop everything. You NEED to realize you are just as much of a priority to yourself as everyone else in your life is and you NEED to chisel out the time for you. You don't need to "find" the time because time is already there. It is just a matter of you deciding to make the time. My former guitar teacher used to leave his house 30 minutes before my guitar lesson and sit in his car and meditate for 30 minutes before my guitar lesson. Now I am not asking you to sit in a parking lot with your eyes closed because quite frankly I would be a little scared for your safety, however this is a perfect example of "making" the time. See for you men reading this, making time for yourself and Self-Care goes for you too!
When you take these 30 minutes (or an 1 hour, I'm going to get you there one day!) you will see miraculous changes in your life and changes in your relationships. Plus, you will still have time during the day to be the pleasing, helpful, and nurturing person you have always been. It is a win-win for everyone!
So, are you still not sure you can chisel out those 30 minutes? No? Then give me 5! Just 5 minutes a day for a week for Self-Care. Then the next week add another 5 minutes so you are up to 10 minutes a day of Self-Care. Then add another 5 minutes...well you see where I am going with this. Don't just give me the 5 though, give it to yourself because girlfriend...YOU ARE SO WORTH IT!
A Healthy and Happy You
Things to do to Self-Care:
1. Take a bubble bath
5. Be with nature
9. Read a book
10. Take a walk